Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Need a little break.

 
It sounds so me, couldn’t express how I really feel with just words spoken or written. Obstacles could be formed with every single thing you could imagine –your own mind, people around you, stuffs you have, bad habits that you keep, or even yourself. Now that I’m facing new chapter of my life, I feel so anxious and also afraid. Anxious because this is what I really wanted – having positives activities to do, having a playful choices that could really determine my future (I call it ‘playful. Just to calm myself down and make it simple) and doing actions I have choose with might. Why afraid? Afraid cause the probability to fall is bigger. Afraid because I might lose something that I’m holding on to…

Me, I hate to admit it, but my mind seems to automatically do it: Self-Labelling. I’m perfectionist. I cannot control my emotions. If I’m angry, I’m blabbering. I like to do things quickly. And that has become new obstacle for me, because at this point of my colleague life, my score is determined not only by my abilities, but also by luck. Sometimes I cannot choose to teamed with people I feel comfortable with, or work well with. I have to adjust with them, being myself with my own ideas that blend with theirs. I have to adjust with them emotionally, so that my own personalities – that like to erupt every time I don’t feel happy- could really… not disappear, but maybe gone for a second.


Maybe I have to listen to others.


You probably know from what I’ve explained above, I got stressed so easily. When things ruin, not happening like my own plan, the chances for me to got stressed increasing in a fast motion. I regret it, I wish I could be more easy going, or even just go with the flow…

Maybe I just have to slow down a little bit. And will finally find  the true meaning of LIFE.



This place is where I can find happiness, sincerity, and inspiration… MY ROOM.
 

  
my messy desk. that woody desk is where all the magics happen :)
 books, magazines, etc. I almost forget about reading books since I found Twitter. Regrets.

 I spent 2 hours in front of the mirror - I often talk to myself haha

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